8 stages of dating
There is a great emphasis on similarities and "sameness". One partner will say, "I don't believe in this "we are so alike" stuff. In this stage the couple is hopefully bonded and connected and appropriately committed.
I value differences and believe differences should be acknowledged and respected! I tend to see this enchantment stage as a little be of grace in nature.
Since they do not know what to do when that happens, they move back into the Parallel Relationship.
The enchantment stage will gradually evolve in the next stage -- the Power Struggle Stage.Negative traits are minimized or ignored or rationalized. " The person who says that may have played tennis once or twice and sort of liked it, but in the romantic phase only the positive is remembered and many hours of fun and pleasure playing tennis are eagerly anticipated. " Neither one will see that they are still focusing on "sameness".Wounds and Adaptations are softened and soothed and minimized during this bonding phase. The person is not lying or deliberately exaggerating; in the romantic stage while on "drugs", that is a genuine expression of the present experience. Even the "sophisticated" couple is not immune to this phenomenon. The enchantment or romantic stage is necessary, but temporary.They both put their time and energy into other activities and interests (school, work, children, faith communities, hobbies, books, computers, etc) and the energy that goes into the relationship is minimized.