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Instead, they each voluntarily disclose all of their assets and debts to one another and then engage in a series of 4-way meetings with their respective lawyers to resolve all the outstanding terms in their case which then get incorporated into a marital settlement agreement that is filed with the court.
If one spouse does not agree to the divorce, they must have lived separate and apart for at least (1) year from the date of filing before grounds for a divorce can be established.
However, if you feel you can't trust your spouse with the children and/or finances in the least, then the smartest first step is to consult with a collaboratively-trained divorce attorney.
This is especially true when financial abuse or untreated addiction is present.
A collaborative divorce is another non-litigation option to obtaining a separation or divorce.
In a collaborative divorce, each spouse retains their own divorce lawyer and they both sign a document that they will not use the courts to litigate any issues that arise in their matter.
This means instead of hiring opposing divorce lawyers to go to court, you both agree to draft your own terms of your marital settlement with the help of a divorce mediator.