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Please forgive me." There was no forgiveness needed. Forgiving me would have been like forgiving a fly for landing on you. I post smaller humorous content, pictures and interesting articles. So I promise to try and be more aware of how I say things, a better friend, and less of a fly. Sometimes, and this is what I've recently learned, it can alienate my non-kid having friends. She also knows that having a dog is nothing like having a kid. I know that it's hard to relate when you have kids and your friends don't. " "Oh man, you think your feet hurt from working outside all day!What were once close relationships can become sporadic meet-ups where you do your best to try to catch up with someone with whom you have very little in common anymore. I've been chasing my toddler blah blah blah punch me in the face please."It's not a competition.Maybe just cut anything that starts with "When you have kids..." out of your repertoire all together. Unless you and your friend have some previous communication on this topic about how your little one is always welcome, assume the party is not kid friendly. If it were "kid friendly" they would have invited you AND your kids, and mentioned the awesome play room that they will have set up in the basement.By asking your non-kid having friends if their party is kid friendly you are putting them in the really awkward position of either MAKING their party kid friendly on the fly, or telling you that the party is NOT kid friendly which, then, no matter how low-key the party was intended to be in the first place, pretty much requires that they now provide a steady supply of hookers and blow.
I understand the urge to convey that feeling into words. Your life may have a different purpose now, but your pre-kid life was an important part of your story, and your non-kid having friends are a part of that.
I will never forget his pasty complexion when he was forced to admit his year-long affair with a waitress. Suddenly I hated the big one of us kissing while our kids smiled, perched on our backs. I decided to leave just two photos of him — one for each of my kids — in the girls’ bedrooms. My sister came over and helped me put my kids to bed on days when I was too empty to do it myself. “You need to throw everything out and buy nice clothes for all the dates you’re going to go on.” I couldn’t even begin to think about dating. I started seeing a therapist, one who would not let me feel like a victim for long. “If you had to deal with the feelings I was dealing with, you’d punch this hard too,” I wanted to tell them. Sometimes, I’d work so hard that my lips turned blue. I was desperate to hear them breathing in their beds. I turned on the heating pad and crawled under my blankets. “Not bad,” I’d think to myself as I glanced over my appearance in the mirror. I survived on coffee, dark chocolate and plain crackers. It was me who carried them up to bed by myself when they fell asleep in the car.
His face was so blanched it was as though he had doused it in flour. Had he been sleeping with her when that photo was taken? And then I wondered: What the f–k was I going to do with the 10 pads of personalized letterhead I had just ordered with all the members of our family cartooned across the top? That night, from my daughter’s window, I watched Phillip’s shadow slowly load each bag into his trunk. They say there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And why couldn’t I buy flowery crocheted dresses from Anthropologie anymore? My brother Daniel would pick up the phone at any time — during business meetings or in the middle of the night — to listen to me sob. She helped me realize very quickly that my kids needed a happy mother. My biceps became defined, my collarbones poked out of my skin, my ribs protruded. I was starting to feel like our separation was a blessing in disguise. I could walk in the heels my sister had insisted I buy. It was me who soothed them and cleaned their barf at 2 a.m.
Why not try using your experience as a new parent to help instead of compete? Some people don't want kids and choose not to have them.
Some people really want kids and are trying incredibly hard to have them.And by less of a fly, I mean that I will not land on you, vomit on you, and then try to eat you. He was going to stay at a hotel for a few days to think. Though I couldn’t see it at the time, they also marked a new beginning.Indicating to these people that having kids is the only way they will reach some higher level of understanding is both inconsiderate and rude.