Emotionally invalidating environments
If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to talk to other readers.
After Joel and I released a podcast on the INFJ personality, we received an overwhelming response from (the Myers-Briggs type) INTJ for more information on understanding their type. That makes sense – these two types (the INFJ and the INTJ) are almost certainly the most misunderstood by both others and by themselves.
I was surprised because I was hoping for something in the range of $X, but my reaction was completely out of line.
I realize I’ve damaged our relationship, but I also hope that my performance and professionalism up until now will carry some weight with you too, and that we can work to repair this. ” If the earlier apologies didn’t sound like that and/or didn’t include that ending bit, that’s what you need to do now.
Since then, my relationship with my boss has completely deteriorated.
I mean, I suppose that’s possible, but it’s far more likely that he’s just totally taken aback by your response and is trying to figure out how and whether to move forward, as any manager — good or bad — would be. You said that you’ve apologized several times to your boss. Ideally it needs to be something like, “I’m mortified by my reaction when you told me about my raise.
I’d almost argue that INFJs are a little easier to understand.