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One of the hardest parts of dealing with a break-up isn’t the pain of a relationship ending or the complicated hostage exchange involved in getting your graphic novels back while your ex demands her blu-rays even though she knows damn good and well that you bought the Game of Thrones collections for No, it’s that your ex is refusing to honor the contract that says that she’s supposed disappear forever, or at least enter a monastic existence far from civilization and never ever date again in the event that your next relationship doesn’t work out.Instead, they’re stubbornly sticking around – even starting to .By dwelling on your ex, you’ve locked the quantum state of your relationship. The next key to a drama-free relationship with your ex – whether you become close friends or are just able to not flee the room when you see her – is to honestly assess what led to the end of the relationship.Breakups are rarely one-sided affairs;even when it’s because someone cheated or something as simple as somebody’s feelings had changed, it’s almost never a “U R DUMPED BECAUSE FUCK YOU” situation.
Provided you know how to deal with her after the relationship ends.
In fact, most of the time, you’ve both been laying the groundwork for the breakup for a long time, sometimes even right from the beginning.
Being able to have any sort of successful relationship with your ex means that you need to have processed your breakup and taken ownership of your part in it…
On the other hand, somebody who is able to maintain a cordial – if not friendly – relationship with his exes is generally someone who is able to handle the complexities of a serious relationship, who has a handle on his emotions and is able to, if not forget, at least forgive the wounds and errors that are part and parcel of romantic entanglement.
Now, in fairness, there will always be break-ups where the pain is too great or the betrayal too unforgivable or the relationship too toxic for you to remain even in casual contact with your ex and you will be well rid of them.In fact, the better you are able to handle a post-breakup relationship with your ex, the better your partners about the sort of person you are.After all, the biggest common denomenator in all of your relationships is you.Having her number is just an invitation for a 3 AM drunk phone call that will leave you feeling like somebody just took a massive dump on the tattered remains of your dignity.