Guy dating a lesbian

04-Feb-2017 01:33

For other men, casual partners get in the way of finding a serious partner.

(TBH, that's kind of what’s happening to me at the moment.) You’re so desperate to find a man, that when you do find one you like, you dive in head-first, rushing the relationship.

Personally, two years into my first-ever lesbian relationship, I'm very happy to take the time to acknowledge the amazing lesbians out there in the world — my girlfriend included. Because there are a lot of differences between dating a man and dating a woman and most of them make me so freaking grateful that the person I fell for is a fellow femme. Oh, and because there's no male orgasm for a big finish, it means sex can just kind of keep going... They don't want to be a bother or, worse, be dumped for being "hysterical." Now, my girlfriend and I don't meet the lesbian stereotype of sitting around talking about our feelings for hours — that would be boring.

And, as someone who has had sex with women but only dated men before this relationship, I appreciate being in a lesbian relationship all the more. And being in a lesbian relationship in no way takes away from the fact that I am a bisexual — there is no acceptance of bi erasure here. So if you've ever thought about acting out your sapphic leanings and switching your Tinder search to women, here are some factors worth considering. The idea that I shouldn't pay is a patronizing throwback to when women were, you know, basically property. But I feel totally secure mentioning if something's bugging or upsetting me, no matter how small. Our future plans and wants and dreams matter equally.

Your sexual orientation is a core element of your personality.

It is an aspect of you that defines how you interact with other people and how you define yourself.

There’s a weird irony when you're trying to date seriously.

You have to put yourself out there and be open to meeting men.

Therefore, it’s sometimes good to stop having sex with a bunch of different men in order to re-calibrate yourself and in order to make sex a more meaningful act again. You should never let go of your values to satisfy the needs of someone else.

With two women, you just get to sidestep them completely.

This isn't just me and my girlfriend — it's science. The home-court advantage definitely holds true but it's more than that.

I was sick of praising someone for being a feminist or it feeling like a deliberate choice when my needs were valued as much as they were. But luckily no squeamishness around it — and there's almost always a spare tampon laying around. But once I got over it, I've never felt more confident than when I've been dating a woman. There's no silent resentment brewing over housework or errands, because we both come at things from the same place — the burden is genuinely split, rather than having to tell someone what to do and feeling like a nag. I'm making a major generalization here based on my personal experience with a handful of men and my current experience with one awesome-ass lady.

In a hetero relationship, you're always encountering gender norms — whether adhering to or ignoring them. If you've got yourself a man who puts in that mental labour, you're killing it. With a woman, it's not awkward at all (or at least, just the normal amount of money awkwardness). I was actually way more self-conscious dating women than dating men. There's no stress of being the only person who notices that you need to buy toilet paper or that you need to buy a birthday gift. This is the bottom line — and the most important part of dating a woman. But I've found that, while dating a woman, there's so much more equality and understanding.If you've ever had to congratulate a guy for not being a misogynistic assh*le, you'll know what I'm talking about. Even though I think of men as being more judgmental, feeling like there is a more direct comparison between you and your partner was tough at first. No praising someone because they did a single effing dish after dinner. Sure, part of it is because my girlfriend is particularly amazing, but in my experience, dating a woman has meant feeling like it's a genuine, equal partnership. I feel like an equal partner in my relationship — and that's just how it should be.But do compromise on the little things that aren’t dealbreakers.