How to spot a player online dating
The term was popularized by the hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks in the 1970s.1: A guy who is sustaining supposedly exclusive relationships with multiple girls simultaneously 2: A male who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. He will not let you slip away, no matter how much you resist. Then, out of nowhere, he puts on the brakes, and you are left scratching your head trying to figure out why, and what you did to cause this unwelcome outcome. The romanticism he exhibits is all about living in the moment, or re-enacting a fantasy, but, rest assured, reality will rear its ugly head sooner rather than later. It is more likely he compartmentalizes because there are other women in his life besides you. If it is monogamy you seek, and the guy you are seeing is not interested in offering that, it is probably smart to re-evaluate and move on. A guy who is serious about you will make you his girlfriend. There have been many women in his past, and he is not shy about informing you of his sexual conquests and why these endless attempts at a relationship failed, no doubt due to every reason apart from him. If the guy you are seeing has been dating for two or three decades and has yet to experience a monogamous relationship that outlasts the change of four consecutive seasons, it is wise to question whether he can or will want to offer you the commitment you desire. No matter how many times either of you call it quits, say your goodbyes, and wish each other well, somehow he always manages to reappear, waving a flag (a red one, if I may) via a text, an email, or an article he innocently forwards along, implying he is around if you want him to be. Another date is scheduled within days, if not hours, of the first. You enjoy each other’s company, the sex is amazing (after all, practice makes perfect and he has had plenty of it), and you are pretty sure he is The One. Believe a guy when he says he does not want to commit to you. Just ask a player where your relationship is headed, and you will likely see him head for the door. When a guy wants to integrate you into his life, he will introduce you to those who are special to him. If he keeps you isolated, it is not because he wants you all to himself. If he still maintains an online dating profile or profiles, and remains active on them long after you start sleeping together, long after you make your relationship objectives known, it may be time to consider other options. What better indicator of future behavior than past behavior? Chasing multiple women is validation-seeking behaviour; it’s a fundamental craving for attention.For some people having one person love you is not enough; these people need to draw opinions from a bigger ‘sample size’ just to confirm to themselves again and again that other people are still interested in them.Why is it that some men pride themselves on being able to seduce women when on the other hand, women get branded as “sluts” after having had multiple sexual partners?In fact, men seem to go out of their way to ‘pick up’ women that they might not necessarily even be that attracted too, or care about, just as a means of impressing other men.
Many people associate players with men, however there are a growing number of women who fall into this category, using their internet dating membership to ‘hook up’ online. If he refers to you as a friend, both in private and in public, he is letting you and everyone else know his options are still open. Casual conversation does nothing to reveal whether or not he is having or has had a sexual relationship with any of these friends, and you are deliberately left wondering what makes you any more special than the others. The only thing that makes you crazy is coming back for more. Waiting for someone to change should never be a consideration. Otherwise, you may never find what you are looking for. He will want you and the rest of the world to know you are unavailable to any other man. Not only are most of his friends women, they too are referred to as friends. Though there are exceptions to every rule, and people can and do change, the odds are not stacked in your favor. Never promising more, only toying with your emotions, making you wonder whether this time things will be different. At some point it comes time to recognize the cycle, and break it. Nobody likes a player, especially when you are the one being played.
But spotting the telltale signs that he or she is in it for all the wrong reasons can be a lot more difficult online. Internet dating brings thousands of people from different backgrounds together to find singles who match their profile in the area, though of course not everyone is looking for love and marriage.Now to women this all sounds ludicrous; they can’t wrap their head around why someone would ever want to be considered a “player”, so I’ve looked to break it down for you.Here are the two main reasons that men pride themselves on being “players”. Well we say dated but it’s really just a fling as it was doomed from the beginning. Or can you change a player, stop him from chasing after the next woman and settle with you?