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14-Aug-2017 17:43

“For starters, power for girls is about who has the most ‘Girl World’ things,” says Wiseman, using a phrase she coined to describe those things girls feel are vital to their survival.

“Being generically pretty, having the most money so that they have the right style, having the right boyfriend, knowing how to communicate well with adults so that they leave you alone … And you don’t have to have all those things but it’s about who has the most.

But truth be told her chances of getting in are slim at best. And the fact is, experiencing these inevitable, small disappointments and losses is good for her. It’s teaching her how to handle disappointments and life – as WE ALL KNOW, RIGHT? In life, you miss out on jobs and promotions and second dates.

I want my daughter to build up her resilience muscle. In high school you’ll miss out on a certain role or a grade or badge.

Although, he admits that most research indicates that girls are more likely to be the perpetrators – and the victims – of this more Machiavellian form of aggression.

A point backed up by Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabes, a non-fiction book designed to help parents guide their daughters through the female politics of school.

And it’s the rush – the competition for them – that creates the hierarchy amongst girls.” Ask Wiseman why girls are more likely to bully one another using methods like gossip and exclusion, and she’ll tell you that it’s part biology and part sociology.

“Biologically, it’s about girls and their verbal abilities,” says Wiseman, acknowledging the power of words.

The point is that relational bullying is having a greater short-term and long-term impact than had ever been supposed.

It can be as subtle as a withering glance, as painful as lunchtime exclusion and as insidious as an email hate campaign designed to ruin the victim’s reputation.



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