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02-Jun-2017 04:20

Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?

***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.

Many times in my writing I ask men to try to understand how women feel out in the world, to take a walk in their shoes, to try on a different perspective to understand their own privilege.

I believe exercising those empathy muscles is what helps us be better, kinder human beings, but it’s not fair of me to ask without trying to reciprocate.

After all, we each have only the 500-word text boxes and crappy jpegs and clever (not so clever) user names to show for ourselves. Maybe in this environment where we are safely sequestered behind screens, we can get past some of the lingering gender-based “rules” that dominate the “How to Catch a Man” playbooks of yore.She will offer to split, but you think she doesn’t mean it and you don’t want to be a jerk.You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.I do not want to be a passive participant in my romantic life.

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I do not want my dating choices to be limited to the guys who are still optimistic enough to send a message; I might miss some good ones who are just tired of being ignored and I can’t blame them. I asked above why I should bother to get on the rollercoaster ride of being the asker instead of the askee, and I think the reason it’s worth trying is the reason it’s worth trying many things that make you uncomfortable; empathy.

You will peruse profiles and find a few women who aren’t posing in a bathroom with their stomachs exposed.



Emily Heist Moss hasn’t had to pursue men online because it’s one area where men still do all the asking. But that’s about to change. I tell all my single girlfriends to give online dating… continue reading »


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