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The higher energy required for making a date means that it happens less often. Transportation challenges make even the best-intentioned people flaky.
You ask where this person lives --“Silver Lake.” You live 20 miles away in Santa Monica -- and that’s not just any 20 miles. 20 miles is a perfectly reasonable distance to travel in the 5,000 square miles of Los Angeles to get somewhere. It’s almost twice the length of Manhattan (13 miles) and enough distance to cross a couple of national borders in Europe.
It’s 20 miles through one of the most car-jammed concrete jungles on the planet, with no efficient public transport to speak of. And so the activation energy of meeting someone not nearby goes up.
Physics tells us that the higher the activation energy, the less frequent the event.
Showing up late, not showing up at all and breaking promises can then become the norm.
When that happens enough times to enough people, you end up in a legendarily flaky city, and social and dating life encounter more obstacles. The transience of the city’s entertainment culture adds an aura of impermanence and unreliability to social ties.
Accordingly, dating in New York City is fun, while dating in Los Angeles sucks.