Relationship advice dating a divorced man
She says, “Although there may have been heartache and anguish with the process of divorce, there is a real sense of loss — even though the marriage dissolved, the grief stages (anger, resentment, bartering, denial, etc.) tend to apply, leading up to acceptance.
Perhaps, in some cases the man realizes the loss of what was, who he was and has now become, and there is a tendency to deal with a new relationship, wanting to avoid the stages of loss.
There is perhaps tension from other children from a previous marriage if adult and resentful, but on the other hand, there may be more acceptance and awareness if the family divorced and remarried in a considerate and acceptable way.” There’s no guarantee that all divorced men have grown beyond the hurt, but divorce does have the power to change a person for better or for worse.
And if it’s for the better, Masini believes that a man can become more evolved by facing this type of hardship and loss.
Not always, but more often than not.” And the older you get, the better this divorce-commitment factor may be, according to Dr.
Fran Walfish, Beverly Hills child, parenting and relationship psychotherapist, author of on WE tv. Fran says, “It's better to date and partner with a man who is divorced than single because single men above age 40 generally have a fear of commitment or other unexamined and unresolved issues from their families of origin.” “Fool me twice, shame on me,” might as well be the divorced man’s motto.
As April Masini, relationship expert at Ask April.com, sees it, a man who’s been through at least one marital flop will come to appreciate his current partner even more since he knows exactly how much he stands to lose.
As Lisa Bahar, MA, CCJP, LMFT, LPCC, of Lisa Bahar Marriage and Family Therapy, Inc., confirms, divorced men may be better in this respect because they have learned the reality of commitment.If you have just begun dating a divorced man, you might soon realize that the “regular” dating rules do not always apply.Whether it is due to encounters with their ex, issues concerning his kids or heavier-than-average baggage, dating a divorced man could be be particularly challenging.Sometimes you have to wear ill-fitting shoes to appreciate those that are a good fit.” “Divorced men can be better lovers,” says Masini. Masini explains that a divorced man who has a failed marriage behind him may be more interested in making his current relationship work.