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After all, he’s a man….” Is that what a man is, someone from whom one can’t expect much?How does it affect men when we look at them like that? What are we supposed to make of the fact that for the first time in history, there are more single than married women in the United States, and – astoundingly – one in three babies in the United States is born to an unwed mother? For a woman, who came into the world in the context of a relationship – Eve was created as Adam’s wife – life is often about relationships.Judaism – which is more into equity than equality – has no problem saying that men and women relate differently to relationships.It also tells us that the voice of love is the one we had better make sure doesn’t get squashed, because without it life becomes a very lonely island.Taking care of a family – taking responsibility, being committed to the people in his care, putting their needs first – is what makes a man into a man.
He commits to her, he promises to support her, he obligates himself to take care of her needs.
They were disappointed that boys “…were being told to be strong men and take care of their wives….
Traditional gender role stereotypes were reinforced and gender was portrayed in an essentialist manner” (Boys Adrift, 203–204).
Every year an equal number of Jewish boys and girls are born – but 20-something years later, there are far more chuppah-minded women than men.
The shortage of marriageable Jewish men is well-known, but the mystery of their disappearance remains unsolved for most of us.Leonard Sax, in his book Boys Adrift, describes an interesting scenario.Three researchers were sent by the Ford Foundation to observe a classroom in an all-boys school with a male teacher.To my mind, the biggest tragedy had already happened: here was a man who at 38 didn’t realize that the most important thing in life is not to be understood – it’s to be man enough to understand someone else!