My father and mother did not get to that place quickly or easily (there we some stormy years in their forties).But they got there, by God’s grace, they got there. Again, many years, lots of love but also their share of struggles and sorrows.Their strength and their struggle are very closely related.
God establishes a husband in authority in the home. It does not follow that the husband always “gets his way.” Rather, if he is smart, he listens carefully to his wife and her wisdom. The Scripture says, “What God has joined together, let no one divide.Here are few brief pointers that the successful have offered in one way or another over the years to me: 1. Clinging to the “ideal Marriage” fantasy is a recipe for resentment and disappointment. Many good marriages are far from ideal, but they are good. God wants marriage, as a sacrament to be a means of salvation for both spouses.No Ideal Marriage – Many people want marriage to be ideal, if there is any ordeal they want to look for a new deal. Hence, marriage somewhat presumes that work was necessary for both spouses upon the beginning of a marriage. Spouses bring many blessings to one another in pleasant ways.It is true that external factors can bring comfort. There are many people who have very admirable external settings who are not happy.
There are also people who have difficult external situations but are happy and content.Practically speaking women have great authority in the home and its daily running and a smart husband will not seek to micromanage and usurp his wife’s role and her practical authority there and with the children. Oneness requires headship, common faith, shared fear of the Lord, and a heartfelt appreciation for the gifts of each. (Matt 19:6) Therefore note that God worked this work, not you. Respect what God has done and reverence it as of him, and by him and belonging to him.Here then are a few things I have learned in 25 years of marriage counseling and talking to married couples.This past week six couples in my parish joined about 850 other couples in the Archdiocese of Washington at the Basilica here for the Jubilarian Mass.